Half Assed Chaos

#82 Don't Ask About The Jelly
07 May 2011 12:25 pm

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Author's Comments:

#82 Don't Ask About The Jelly

HalfAssedChaos
Posted by HalfAssedChaos
07 May 2011 12:31 pm

Welcome to year 3 everybody, looks like we are really classed up the jokes for this year! Expect nothing but high brow gems like this.

Allright enough of that comic junk.

Have you played Portal 2? If your answer is no then you are not a person, you are some sort of thing that does not belong in the world. Perhaps you would feel more at home in Spaaaaaaaaaace! What's your favorite thing about space? Mine's space. Wheatley is an amazing addition to the cast of characters and fits in quite well with Chell and GLaDOS, and don't even get me started on Cave Johnson.

Also the new Mortal Kombat is incredibly fun, they did a great job taking the game back to its roots. If you liked the old MKs of your childhood, then you will love this game.


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Reader's Comments:

mosama
Posted by mosama
07 May 2011 07:29 pm

The old peanut butter in the va-jay-jay!?? You don't need a hospital- u just need a shower head and a plunger. IVE TRIED.

Portal 2 is the most amazing thing ever spawnd. I've never played it but i watched a bunch of videos/walkthroughs of it on youtube so i still got to see the entire videogame pretty much and i LOVE IT.



Aww

Posted by The Real Nick (Guest)
07 May 2011 07:30 pm

Why didn't the chick just let me eat the peanut butter out of her vagina? Why does she need to go to the hospital?!



HalfAssedChaos
Posted by HalfAssedChaos
07 May 2011 07:54 pm

Severe peanut allergies.

You only have minutes before she explodes!



MacSimon
Posted by MacSimon
08 May 2011 12:00 am

"Dad, am i on space?"
"Yes son, i'm proud of you."
"Dad, are you space?"
"Yes son. Now we can be a family again."

BEST LINE IN PORTAL 2 EVER



RazorD9
Posted by RazorD9
08 May 2011 12:59 am

Peanut butter Jelly time! Not so much really. Either that or the peanut butter trick gone wrong.



Wakka Wakka

Posted by The Real Nick (Guest)
09 May 2011 06:36 pm

The ad at the bottom of your page right now is hilarious!

"Your momma is so big that she has mass whether or not the Higgs Boson exists!"

Booyaa baby!



HalfAssedChaos
Posted by HalfAssedChaos
10 May 2011 08:28 am

Hmmm...See mine just says
Death Porn, A Sexploitation Death Opera.

...I guess that's just as good.



venion
Posted by venion
10 May 2011 06:14 pm

Cave Johnson.

*adds to facebook list of inspirational people*



HalfAssedChaos
Posted by HalfAssedChaos
11 May 2011 08:05 am

Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons. Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons. I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!

GLaDOS: Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeeeaah!



venion
Posted by venion
11 May 2011 05:06 pm

Burning people! He says what we're all thinking!



Portal

Posted by CrystalBlckHeart
11 May 2011 07:48 pm

I finished the game a day after it came it and that, that I was taking my time... The puzzles were easy for me and I was like Oh WOW Lemons that burn your house down and well GLaDOS was getting off when Cave was saying all that stuff is it me or did any one realize that Cave and Caroline are both GLaDOS and that Caroline is Chell's mother and that in a weird twisted sense GLaDOS is a mean mom. I mean seriously that is a messed up women >.< I lover he sexy voice in the first game when she's telling you how she's going to kill you makes things that much more fun.



HalfAssedChaos
Posted by HalfAssedChaos
12 May 2011 08:30 am

***SPOILERS***

It's only Coraline that's in there, saddly Cave Johnson died before the technology was around to put him into GLaDOS as well.

As for Cave Johnson and Caroline being Chells adoptive parents, there is some evidence there but it is not outright said.

We at least know that Chell was the daughter of someone who worked at Aperture, her name was on one of the Potato experiments in the bring your daughter to work day scene.

It is also up in the air if Coraline was actually deleted by GLaDOS or if that was just a lie. Coraline didn't make up all of GLaDOS, but as GLaDOS says it was more like a conscience to her. Her letting you go even after "deleting" Coraline would suggest that she held onto Coraline, as with a line the Want You Gone ending she says that "Now little Coraline is in here too" which makes me believe that she is holding onto the human aspect of herself.

I'm not sure if I believe Chell is the adoptive child of Cave and Coraline yet, it seems like it would be too much of an overdone "twist" and I think Valve usually tries to steer clear of that sort of thing. But then again in the turret aria when you being raised to the top the words do call Chell "daughter" if you translate them. This would be the strongest evidence there is for that case.

Arguments aside, I think we can all agree that GLaDOS is one of the most well written and fantastic villians in video game history.

And Wheatley...oh my do I love Wheatley. I feel sorry for him just floating out there in space for eternity, at least he has the Space Sphere to keep him company.

Spaaaaaaaaaaace!



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